You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
