she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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