Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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