One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
