Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
