Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
