dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
