I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
