And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize
