I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
