Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
You can't special order awesome
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
