Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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