I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
