Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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