Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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