my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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