I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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