Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
