hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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