I can't watch pbs sober anymore
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
