I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize
