Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
she peed on how many people?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
