the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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