I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize