some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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