Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
