I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I'm passing your future prison.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
