yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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