I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
