But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
