I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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