just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
