is your mom at the bar?
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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