We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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