I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
