i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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