found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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