I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
