sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
