This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
