final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
