I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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