I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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