He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I checked into jail on foursquare
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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