you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
