No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Say something about gay babies.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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