I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
