Too much gin, very little bucket
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
