I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
