So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
