we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Randomize
