this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
