Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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