mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
