Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
