Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
