That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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