connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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