...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
