That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
