it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
