and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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