there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
