dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My bed smells like the plague
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