Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
