You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize