I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
