How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
