I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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